Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize