Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
