I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
