I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
