I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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