i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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