you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
