She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
