I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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