There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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