She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
