How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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