She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
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I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
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Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine