Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about