Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.