I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?