She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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