I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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