so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
