i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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