fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
