Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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