Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Success! We fucked roommates!
I party with great urgency now.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
