I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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