this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
