are you still at the devil's house?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
