I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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