Non-Jews are for practice
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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