why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
