suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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