Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
