8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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