I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Is Oprah even human
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
