Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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