Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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