Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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