Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
