Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
