Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize