wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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