It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize