So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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