I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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