I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize