somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
