It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
