I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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