You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Enjoy the penises
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
