we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize