Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
