3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
