New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
