the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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