from now on my penis is your penis
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
