either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
